Toilet Humour: Get paid to pee!

Here’s something one doesn’t encounter everyday.

In an obscure little town called Musiri (yes, not Mussourie) in Madrasi Territory, history took place. Now all of us have seen graffiti on walls saying “Don’t Urinate Here” in size 100 font, yet one can smell the fragrance of fresh (or decayed) nectar from the urethra circulating, like an epidemic. Now after endless hours and crores of rupees spent on strategic planning, the authorities seem to have finally found a  better solution.

Pay the people.

Let me let that thought sink in(bad pun, yes I know). The government is going to pay the commoners. To piss. From their dick.

However, what is almost (I dare not use the word equally) amusing as the story is that it was published on one of the Reuters’ blog named India: A billion aspirations. Perspectives on South Asian politics (?????!!!!!). While articulation is an important prerequisite for a journalist, Bappa Majumder whor wrote the piece opens new vistas saying:

In India, a drive to ensure cleanliness in streets for a week or so is a common exercise, but people often forget such drives in a hurry and the street corners are suddenly smelling again and people using handkerchiefs and sometimes masks to cover their nose.

I guess the officials will be opening the celebratory tharra (local wine) bottles for their master plan seems to have worked instantly. The monetary benefit attached might just turn out to be the tipping point of India’s public hygenic success. Don’t believe me? Let’s quote the Reuters report again:

Dozens of people are queuing up to use toilets in Musiri, a remote town in Tamil Nadu state, where authorities are succeeding in keeping street corners clean with the new scheme.

And obviously, all this finally contributes to a noble cause. The urine is being taken to Tamil Nadu’s Agricultural University for sampling and determining how kickass a crop fertilizer does this have a potential to become. Clearly, there is no (im)purer way to give back to Mother India.

But hey, the real party is in the comments section where the homeboys are out there having a gala time expressing their views.

[...]LET US MAKE IT HAPPEN . JAIHIND
-Balasubramaniam T

True, using uppercase does emphasise a point. But which one?

And then there’s this

Certainly, this is a very thoughtful initiative. But people must realise that this is being done for restoring cleaniless in the city and is not a channel for earning money. Afterall, for how long will the authorities go on giving money to these people.

-Nupur

Yes, Nupur, we all also realise after reading your comment that this is indeed done to tell these rural people to piss in the appropriate piss bowls and not an effective method for the upliftment for Below Poverty Line junta. Clearly, giving them a buck a day to take a leak will drill the ill effects of pissing in random street corners into their head.

But the smartest comment award goes to this guy

what if they are just faking for the sake of money??

-Ajan

Indeed what if they are. The news item says that the villagers are earning a dollar a month, so tats around 1.4 rupees a day, and assuming that the person is visiting the public toilets around 2-3 times a day, this implies that  the authorities are paying a little more than 50 paisa per trial.

Now what I want to know is that, is there a way of authenticating the process of urinating?  Sensors? Homies checking over your shoulder?

And lets say for arguments sake that the necessary provisions have been provided to validate the process. Would it be economically feasible to drink so much water, just to facilitate urinating? For water costs much more than that

And this is supposed to be a toilet in rural TN? Fuck you!

And the icing on the cake? This is the image that accompanied the news item.

Arrey jab chootiyapa hi karna hai toh dhang se karo bhaiyya

This is supposedly the above mentioned toilet in rural Tamil Nadu. In Musiri. You get to use 50 paisa to use this.

Dude! ITC doesn’t have such cool lavatories. Clearly, its been lifted from flickr or somewhere. And hell naw is that girl a tamilian!