More Reservation!

Remember those annoying trigonometry theorems from class 10? Well, today we’re going to prove that Arjun Singh is an asshole and that Sonia Gandhi is a dildosucker.

First of all, why the fuck should there be quotas for SCs, STs and OBCs in the teaching faculty of the IITs? And you thought they did it to help create an ‘equal society’? Man, the general elections are coming. Now, not only is Arjun ‘assface’ Singh’s harebrained directive destroying the some of the best central universities in the country, it is polarizing society. My source in IIT Kharagpur tells me that when the dudes there came out on the streets in protest over the OBC quota issue earlier this year, some of them were surprised when some guys among them made derogatory comments about SCs, STs and OBCs. The same followed in debates on reservation in corridors and common rooms.

“I’m not willing to breathe the same air as these people.”

“They are untouchables.”

“They are niggers.”

Well, thank you Moraji Desai, thank you V.P. Singh, thank Arjun singh, and, thank you Sonia Gandhi for creating this bitter divide in the Indian social fabric.

It’s the nation’s misfortune that Arjun ‘tiny dick’ Singh is the central HRD minister at a time when India’s economic and cultural sphere of influence is taking the shape of something which is both extensive and definitive. On one hand you have Syria asking for an IIT on its soil and on the other you have the prospect of 49.5 per cent of faculty seats in the IITs being reserved for people who won’t be able to teach anyone jackshit!

Anyway, won’t Syria have to set up a Mandal Commission before they can have an IIT on their soil? 49.5 per cent seats for Palestinian refugees, Kurds and Armenians? Nah, the govt is too busy setting up the eight new IITs (yeah it was seven but then they added another at Indore) that it doesn’t have time right now for such delicate foreign policy matters. Besides, we have already deferred/refused Singapore’s request for an IIT. Interestingly, in Singapore, if you think about it, the OBC group would comprise of Tamil immigrants and Malay people. Hehe.

On a more serious foreign policy note, there’s this thing called the Washington Accord to which India is a provisional signatory, as opposed to being a member signatory, which is something India would like in the future.

Why? This accord recognizes degrees from IITs and BITS Pilani as degrees of high international standard, at par with MIT, Oxford and Sorbonne. With the impending dilution of standards in the IITs, it may so happen that BITS Pilani will become India’s soler representative in this international club, as the IITs may simply get kicked out because of bad faculty and sagging infrastructure.

All this for winning the next general elections, eh, Mrs. Gandhi? But history shows that reservations haven’t helped any party in the polls, ever. The OBC reservations in the IITs didn’t stop the BJP from taking Karnataka.

But then we don’t know what sweeping insecurity Sonia Gandhi is suffering from. It’s an open secret that she controls the Union govt by remote control and so it’s not hard to imagine her asking Arjun ‘likes dick’ Singh to introduce yet another sweeping quota to paint over the lack of people’s confidence in the central govt after its shoddy handling of the nuclear deal issue so far.

But then, Arjun ‘Old Delhi Whore’ Singh has been in a lot of shit of late. So instead, the Congress led Maharashtra govt has suddenly decided to enforce an obscure law which reserves 70% of all seats in every college in Maharashtra for students from the district it is located in. If Sonia and Vilasrao Deshmukh thought that this would yield electoral benefits, well, they had their faces up their asses. An NCP Corporator from Thane has filed a PIL against the order. I’m sure he sees a constituency somewhere, because I sure can. Hell, all the Mumbai colleges are being silently overrun by the full spectrum of political outfits in preparation for any upheaval which may happen over this issue, or to spark off some fight and then divide the political benefits. Already there’s tension between dudes from Mumbai Suburban who are worried if they are going to get into the colleges in Mumbai Proper and the rich kids from South Mumbai who are pleasantly happy for the govt order and not so much on the court stay on the admission process.

So what do you know children. Don’t you think I’ve conclusively proved that Arjun Singh is an asshole and that Sonia Gandhi is a dildosucker?